Everything went worst after he passed away. Everything seems so wrong. It's like, my life is so meaningless I could just suicide. Everything look fine when it's not. My life gets harder. Kept thinking why is this happening to me? He left me too early. I still need him for my expenses, my freedom. It was all in his hands. But now, it's like I'm living independently. He left me without teaching me what to do whenever I'm alone. I need him, I still do. I need his time, his attention, his advises. Everything. But Allah loves him more. But still, cant accept the fact for what had happen. I look like I'm happy, I look like I'm fine. But honestly, the feeling inside me is eating me alive. I can't live another misery. I just couldn't bare this pain cos I have been facing eversince I was small. Ayah, me miss chu. Take good care of yourself okay. :')