I'm controlling my tears. I'm literally fucked up with every single thing that happened today. Like, my head just couldn't wait to burst and sometimes I even feel like committing suicide. But, I don't want to leave my best friends. Sometimes, I thought to myself. Maybe I should have followed dad passed away too. I mean, who cares right? No one. I have thousands and millions of friends. But none of them cared. Who even give a fuck about the life I'm living right now? Who even gives a fuck about me? Who the fucking hell does? No one. Fuck it. I can do nothing with my life. Nobody cares. But then I thought to myself again. This life I'm living, isn't supposed to pleased everyone. I'm supposed to live my life to the fullest but what am I fucking doing right now? Pleasing people. Why do I even care about everyone when no one gives a fuck about me? Why? I don't even understand myself. I fucking need a break.

So basically, I planned a lot of stuffs to do at the age of 21 later. I am gonna go somewhere far. Far from everyone. Well basically, I'm gonna go on a trip with my family like a London-Manchester trip and after that to Spain myself. I want to know a lot more about their culture and I just want to go around Spain. I want to go the Real Madrid's stadium, and hopefully to bump into Juan Mata or David De Gea *.* sorry. And well, when I'm at Manchester, hopefully I still get to see my favorite Javier Hernandez & Juan Mata in my favorite team, Manchester United. Right now, Louis Van Gaal is the new Man United boss and he's like so fucked up I just hope he won't regret whatever he's doing. Whatever happens, Juan Mata & Javier Hernandez will always be my favorite players and my inspiration. I love them both :')