So, hi. It's going to be a month of not updating my blog. People been waiting for me to update my blog but I just couldn't find any time to actually update my blog cos I've been busy with school and studying and I decided to start back on work to support myself again. Looking at my other friends working after school and stuffs despite of how tired they are, actually gives me some kind of motivation to actually go back to work after school no matter how tired I am because that's just how life is, I guess? There isn't any easy way out. It's always the difficult way that made us stronger and move forward. 

Life. It has been very, very, very hard on me ever since dad passed. But nope, I don't blame him at all. Maybe it's just the way of how I control things and well, I just turn 18 and to me, I am still young to handle situations that is too hard but just like people always say,"God won't give you challenges you can't handle." That sentence has always been in my mind every single time whenever I'm at the verge of giving up with life. I believe that, that sentence is rather true. In every single situation we all face, there will surely be mistakes. And what are the mistakes for? For us to learn and to not repeat it again in future. 

I don't know why nowadays, I tend to get angry and so cranky that every little things can just blew me off and I can even broke down. I don't even know why but yea, that's how my attitude have been for the past few days or weeks ago. I wasn't sure what's wrong with me and I pushed people away just so I can figure out what is wrong with me and let me have some space to have my time alone but no one seems to understand that and I'm super upset about it, honestly. Super upset of how people can't just understand me and just let me have my time alone. I seriously need to get myself back in track since I'm also been feeling so lonely and I'm getting used to it so why not just let me be by myself figuring out what is wrong with me rather than having people pester me and not making me concentrating on myself? And everything doesn't seem right even when it was just a question, I don't know how many times must I repeat because some people just don't understand simple English that I think I need to throw some dictionaries in their face. I just don't know what's wrong with me because I be fine right now but 10 seconds later I can just get mad and stuffs. Yes, I'm a very fucked up girl because I'm undergoing a fucked up life on my own and I don't think I should let anyone face it with me because no one knows what really happens in my life so yeah.

It's been a year passed now and I swear I'm missing my old school, ITE College Central. It's the place where I made friends with a lot of people through social network and I met them in this school. College Central has a bunch of nice and friendly people that was once stranger to me but now? Already am so closed to me. They are like Irfan, Andriani, Raouf, Iwan, Solihin, Amir and a lot more that I don't think it's necessary for me to type out all names so yeah. It's where a lot of memories were made and I just love it at College Central compared to College West. BUT. College West has a bunch of nice people too and they are Farahin, Farah Dinah, Safwan, Rashid, Ellia, Kee, Syakira, Era & Danial. Not to forget, Christopher and also my one and only baby Syafiqah Humaira (the one that is on my prev post). Hehehe yes my baby she so cute I just love hugging her all the time. Yes, they are the people that turn my life up instead of down, they made things happen and has never fail to brighten up my days every single time. Without them, I think I would've already quit school and just work. But because of them, it's a kind of motivation for me to go school every single day. Things will never be the same without you guys around and I love you guys so much. 

Exams is just 2 weeks away and I am so afraid about it, honestly. I seriously need to buck up and start studying already. I cannot just study halfway and such. But thank god I've been listening and paying attention to my lecturer every single lesson. Good things come to us if we work hard so my both test I got a B and A. Now for my exams, it's obviously not an open book and therefore I need to study every single thing in the book. Which is equivalent to me memorizing the whole book gosh. But maybe I would just make my own notes and read it from there. I think that is much of a better idea? Yeah, guess so.

It's already the end of my blog post for today and I'm going to end my blog post with a picture. So goodnight and keep on check on updates okay!

(i can or i can't)