Confused.

" I used to laugh until I choke"

So confused & I asked myself, am I wrong to be scared of falling in love again? Am I wrong to do such things to a person? Will I ever hurt people unintentionally? Am I falling too fast again? Am I wrong to feel this way? So many questions in my head, I couldn't get them off my mind. Been thinking about everything lately and how I wasn't ready for everything. Today marked my 2 Years Single. Clean sheet, great experience. But, will I fall for someone again soon? Am I able to make them happy as much as I wanted to make myself happy? I don't even know. What if I hurt them out of a sudden without me realizing? What if they are the ones who leave me after I gave them my all? So confused, so afraid. Ya Allah, what are you trying to show me?

I just want to protect myself, I'm doing things for my own happiness. I need to be happy. I have to stop being all sad or pretending to be happy. Pretending isn't fun at all. It sucks and I don't want to pretend anymore. I have to stop all that and be happy for myself. Well, I am born to please myself not other people. Wherever I turn around, I see couples. Sweet, cute couples. I am jealous. Again I asked myself Why should I feel that way? Did I missed being loved by someone? What is happening? I don't even know.