I, am a very harsh person. Throughout my 18 year old life, living in a very cruel world with a very cruel environment. With shitty people surrounding me, I don't even know what to feel about this life anymore. I'm lost in this cruel world, and it seems like it's hard to find myself back. My soul, my mind, my body, my heart. Are lost, they're separated from each other. It's like, my soul is in the other city, my mind is in other country, my body is in other state, and my heart. Is searching to where it should belong. Should it belong here? There? It don't even know.

Lately, I've been so lazy to even wake up to school. I've been having school issues and I just don't know what to do anymore. If I were to quit, I will disappoint a lot of people. But I tell myself again, I know whatever I'm doing is for my own good. If people support me or hates me for the decision I made, it's their problem, right? Because as far as I am concern, I know whatever I did for myself brings my benefits and I know that it's for my own happiness and that I shouldn't really care about what people think of my decision, right? But on the bright side, those people who don't support me on the idea of quitting school and live my dreams, are actually helping me to think positive that in life, things doesn't always go the way I wanted it to be. Everything's going to be hard and it's not really going to be very easy just like how I planned it to be. It will obviously have the ups & downs and if I were to do things alone, there won't be anyone to help me whenever I needed one. What am I suppose to do?

What I'm doing right now, is trying my best to find back my heart, my soul, my body & my mind. I need to quickly find all of them back just so I could bring myself back on track. I couldn't even figure out what I need & what I want. I couldn't even figure out these feelings I have towards myself. Sometimes I'm fine, but the other point, I'm not. What am I suppose to do? I don't even know..